I have to admit as much as I love the idea of Gratituesday, writing posts for Gratituesday is sometimes a lot harder than it should be. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a total grinch, but sometimes all I can come up with to be grateful for are little things that I don’t think anyone wants to read about. Sometimes, my heart is so heavy, I let that nasty little voice inside my head say “Why would anyone care?”
Today, however, I have an easy Gratituesday post. It’s my 14th wedding anniversary. I have to say that some of those years have been pretty long, some of them shorter than others but have aged me significantly. Overall I have to say I am one blessed woman with a husband who God gifted me with who is just right for me. Irritating enough to keep me interested, strong enough for me to respect, and who loves me. Not that noun “love” thing, all though I’m pretty sure he feels that too, but the verb. He chooses to love me everyday. When I’m grumpy, when I’m tired, when I’m downright mean, when I’m fat, when I’m irritated with his mother, when I’m irritated with our children, when I’m irritated with myself.
He makes me garden boxes even though I have a black thumb. Then he moves them the next year because they didn’t get enough sun (not that the plants died because I have a black thumb). He used to stay home with 2 babies every other Saturday so I didn’t go insane. Flowers, chocolate, and romantic getaways are all great, don’t get me wrong, but my man has them all beat. He cleans up when the kids puke on the floor. That, my friends, is true love!
Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!
The Boo got a new camera for Christmas. A nicer camera than anyone else in the family has. She’s 10. And she takes pictures like this.
That’s why she gets the good camera.
I just watched the movie Julie and Julia, and it has me thinking. The movie itself was okay. Not great, not bad. The Julie character struck a chord of familiarity with me. Underachiever, wannabe writer, talented, self-defeating…but likable (I hope) all apply to the character and, I must admit, to myself, oh and the blog. I realized as I was watching, that I need a goal. A theme if you will. However, in order to force myself into action I always need a deadline. I’ve struggled for a while with just what to do with myself. I struggled with it as a young adult and tried several things, some successfully, others not so much. When I really got to know Jesus, He became my raison d’être, and soon after, I married and had children and my purpose was quite obvious to me. I took care of my children and my husband and I began homeschooling. Believe me, it was enough to do for several people. My girls are 10 and 12 (very soon to be 11 and 13). There will be no more babies for me to take care of. The girls can read and write and one can do algebra. They can cook and clean (although typically reluctantly). My role has changed from mommy to mom. Now I advise and listen and drive them around. Did I mention the driving? Teaching consists of handing out assignments and grading and discussing rather than guiding little hands to form letters and counting blocks. There are times when several hours go by and I don’t even know what they are doing as opposed to having to constantly keep and eye and ear out for what mischief they were getting themselves into. It is time for me to stop looking back and face forward.
But what is the next thing for me? I’m waiting for God to let me in on that little secret. I think I’ve been fooling myself into thinking I’ve been waiting for that answer for a while now. I haven’t really been ready to listen. I wanted to fight to hold onto the last stage, but it seems clear to me that it is time for me to let go. I enjoy my children at this stage. It isn’t sloppy kisses and “I love you mommy” anymore. It’s a lot of giggles and eye rolling and stomping and slamming doors. There is laughter as we tease the poor dad simply because he’s surrounded by females. It’s the borrowing of jewelry and the rare dash of mascara “because it’s Christmas.” It’s the offer to make Ramen noodles for dinner because they notice that I’m tired. They are becoming wonderful young ladies, and I know I only have a few years left to be in the center of their lives. And then where do I go?
The dad thinks I need a job, and I do. But more than that I need purpose. Direction. A goal. So I’m going to make a list of things I want to accomplish in 2010, and I’m going to blog about my progress. My first deadline is to have my list finished before New Year’s Eve so that I can “begin” on New Year’s Day. You’ll all have to pray with me that God shows me what I need to do so that I can get wherever it is I need to go.
My backyard is a sea of leaves of all different colors. They are pretty, and I don’t want to rake them until they all turn brown. I don’t want to take down the pool either, because I don’t want to stand in the 3 inches of freezing water to get all the leaves out.
We had a beautiful drive to Illinois last week. It really was nice to spend the whole week with the hubby and kids. I got to show them my original hometown, where my parents grew up, and they got to meet lots of cousins they didn’t know.
I’m glad for Facebook, because now, hopefully, I can stay in touch better with those cousins.
I wish my computer was by the fireplace. Then I could keep an eye on everything going on, stay warm, and get some work done or maybe not.
After 7 years of homeschooling I still worry about whether I’m giving them enough work or too much. I wonder if public school kids remember stuff the teacher said yesterday.
My feet are cold. I’m going back downstairs to sit in front of the fire.
Today was one of THOSE days. No, not THAT kind. The really rare kind. The really good kind.
The girls and I went to Six Flags with some friends, free. The Six Flags Read to Succeed program provided tickets for the kids and the teachers (which since we homeschool = Mom). The weather was beautiful, the crowds were very light, we were with very good friends, and it was a great day!
Something that struck me in particular today was watching the difference between our girls and some other girls of the same age range (10-12) at the park. Our girls seem to have a definite air of innocence and “girlhood” about them even though the 12-year-old is quickly becoming a young lady. Our friends have girls very close in age to my girls, and they are good friends. Generally they “hang” with the girl closest to their age, but today varying degrees of interest (and fear) regarding certain rides shook up the usual pairings. The friends went with the other’s sister on several rides and everyone was happy to do so. I wish I could have dug my camera out in order to catch a couple of candid moments between friends, however. As the girls strolled along the occasionally would reach for their friend to excitedly pull them toward this or that attraction, and then they would continue on hand in hand. It was such a sweet expression of friendship! I hated that the worldly influences caused me to momentarily have a flash of “I wonder what people think!” interrupt my appreciation for that moment of innocent friendship.
So today I am thankful for good friends, innocence, girlhood, my girls, and a God so great and awesome who care enough to give us days like today and enjoys them with us.
